The Album

Last week we listened to The Purebloods, and this week we are going to continue the Death Eater train with Sssss by The Parselmouths. This band was one of the first I ever listened to when I first got into wizard rock, so I was really excited when I saw that their debut album had been rereleased on September 17, 2021. It was originally released on October 15, 2006 and contains 14 tracks. Let’sssss get into it!

The Tracks

Hey Guys is a very short intro that takes you back to 2006, back when CDs were our main form of musical entertainment.

We start with a track that is only one minute long, entitled The Parselmouths Say Hello. It has a very robotic sound to it with the lyrics and the music itself. It’s a fun song to start off the album.

Being in Slytherin is Not Half Bad is up next with some excellent electric guitar. This song goes out to all the Slytherins out there. Even though Slytherin has a bad reputation, there are definitely some good things to look forward to when you are sorted into the house of the snake. I really like the duet of the voices in this song, and it has a strong ending.

I absolutely love the next song, Eat Slugs. The crunchy instrumentals form the foundation for the hilarious lyrics and incredible harmonies. I live for the background vocals in this one. This is a song that can definitely get stuck in your head very easily.

Kicking House Elves starts off with a sweetly soft acoustic guitar solo. When the voices come in, they are also smooth and soft, which contrasts with the actual lyrics they are singing. It’s a pretty straightforward song as far as the words go – these Slytherins know how to get right to the point.

To this day, I will catch myself singing snippets of Daddy’s Tattoo every now and then. Especially when I get new tattoos. It’s just so fun. The song kicks off with a great electric bass line. I think the chorus is the catchiest part of the song, and the ending is excellently abrupt.

A melancholy piano starts Life’s Unfair, which is a song about daydreaming of dating a young Tom Riddle. It has a simple repeating melody, and is another song that gets right to the point.

Two Classes frequently gets stuck in my head out of nowhere. The guitar in this song is incredibly catchy, as are the lyrics. The melody to this song is great, and the harmonies add some magic to it. The lyrics tell of two classes that are completely pointless to the singers: Muggle Studies and Defense Against the Dark Arts. My favorite line from this one is:

I don’t need defense against what I’m being taught at home

The Parselmouths stick to their evil plans with Let’s Get Hagrid Fired. Like a snake, they slither around the school trying to put the idea in everyone’s heads that Hagrid needs to be fired from his new position as the Care of Magical Creatures professor.

We have another very catchy song up next: What Kind of Name is Hermione? The lyrics to this one can get stuck in your head very easily if you’re not careful! There are many different versions of this song, but this particular one is the version that I remember listening to the most when I was first starting to get into wizard rock. I love the melody in this song.

One of the things I really admire about The Parselmouths is the fact that they have such a solid through line of being Death Eaters in Slytherin, and all that it entails. Shut Down Spew is yet another example of this.

When You’re a Parselmouth is a funky little tune with great melodies that’s all about talking to snakes. The rhythms in this song are so cool.

Breaking out from their usual Slytherin tendencies, I’ve Been Dead for Fifty Years is a song from Moaning Myrtle’s point of view. The music changes as well, to a sweet and soft melancholy sound. The harmony line in this song has been one of my favorites in all of the wrock I’ve listened to. I love how it changes at the end of each line. The song is dedicated to the lovely and talented Moaning Myrtles.

The fourteenth and final song of the album is Hermione (Acoustic), which is another version of What Kind of Name is Hermione? It’s a great way to end this amazing album. It has much more of a “recorded live” feel to it and is silly and fun.

In Summary

The Parselmouths have always been a staple of wizard rock for me, and I am sure that this is true for others as well. If you are listening to this album for the first time, let us know what you think! If you’re giving this another listen after a few years like I did, welcome back! I hope it feels just as much like coming home as it did for me.