If anyone had told me in 2014 that I would be writing an article about anything, let alone an article about something as terrible as sexual abuse, I wouldn’t have believed it. I wouldn’t have thought I had the right kind of background or any right to speak about that subject because I don’t have much first-hand knowledge of either. However, there is a reason I’m writing this one. I became very active in the wizard rock community not that long ago and I have had some of the coolest experiences because of that. Unfortunately, not everything I have learned is positive or even fun to learn. That doesn’t matter. Even if it’s hard to think about, it’s something that has to be discussed. If someone new like me wasn’t aware this happened, there may be a lot of other people who haven’t heard either, and that needs to change.
Let’s face it: there are some things that we just don’t want to talk about. Some of those things bring up a lot of painful memories for some and they don’t want to relive the trauma, which is understandable. Some people just don’t want to picture certain things because it’s bad enough that they happened in the first place. There are also some people who don’t feel like they have the right to speak on a subject if they don’t have first-hand experience. I have been told at least once in my life “until you have to deal with this yourself, you don’t understand.” I’m not sure I can accept that. While it might not be my place to force information out of people who don’t want to share it because it may damage them further, I feel like part of trying to make a better world is educating one’s self and other people about things they may never experience for themselves.
This much is clear: the abuse perpetrated by prominent internet stars goes back much farther than the year 2014. It’s a little difficult to pinpoint exactly who was the first to be accused, but one of the first to be held accountable was popular YouTuber Mike Lombardo. In 2012, Lombardo plead guilty to child pornography charges after a seven month FBI investigation showed he had exchanged explicit images and videos with 11 underage fans. After serving a five year prison sentence, Lombardo was released in August 2018. This is not the typical narrative of one of these abusers, as many of them have not admitted guilt and even the ones who have have not faced criminal charges or a prison sentence. Put a pin in that, because it’s going to come up later.
Now, back to 2014. That seems to be where most of this started to come out. I’m sure the abuse that was revealed in the wizard rock and YouTube communities at that time goes back much farther, but the connection between these revelations and these two communities appears to have begun with a popular YouTuber and musician named Alex Day. Day never made much wizard rock, but he was very popular for his other music (most of which was about Doctor Who). Someone came forward and shared that Day was manipulative and emotionally abusive, often coercing them into having sex with him while he had relationships with several other young women at the same time. In total, about 14 young women came forward with similar stories of manipulation and abuse they suffered at the hands of Alex Day. Day has since acknowledged what happened (sort of), but clearly does not see what he did as abuse and still maintains his innocence to this day.
Once the accusations about Alex Day became public knowledge, the floodgates were opened and several other survivors of physically and emotionally abusive men in the YouTube community came forward and shared their stories. Two of the men who were most heavily accused at this time were staples of the wizard rock community: Luke Conard, former member of the band Ministry of Magic, and Alex Carpenter, former frontman of The Remus Lupins (not to be confused with Remus and the Lupins, who are still together and still making music).
Ministry of Magic was one of the most popular bands in the history of wizard rock, but Luke Conard’s popularity began as a member of the electro-punk band ALL CAPS where he shared the stage with his now-former bandmate and ex-girlfriend Kristina Horner. Horner, who acknowledges that she had relationships with both Luke Conard and Alex Day respectively, was one of the first to share stories of the kind of person Luke Conard was behind closed doors. To the public, Conard was well-liked, charismatic, and talented. When they were alone, Conard would break down her self-esteem so she wouldn’t leave him. He would trash her reputation to their friends to make sure they would be on his side if she ever said anything about him. He engaged in classic manipulative behavior to force her to do what he wanted and keep it that way.
In Horner’s own words, shared via a Tumblr post, “it became increasingly apparent to me that our relationship was ALL CAPS and there wasn’t much outside of it. It was little things – but little things that hurt. He wouldn’t stand next to me in group pictures. He’d call me out on things in front of our friends, making me look stupid. And the more popular he got on youtube, the worse it got. The less he seemed to care about me.”
Even after breaking up with her, Conard continued to try and control his ex-girlfriend. In addition to trying to trick her into sleeping with him continuously under the pretense of wanting to get back together, he tried to deprive her of her share of the money and credit for the music they made together. Once she had the courage to tell her story about what she had been through, several other young women shared similar accounts of their experiences with Conard. He kept them separated from their support structures as much as possible, he used his influence to make them believe that they owed him something, and the only thing he gave them in return was more pain and suffering. To this day it does not appear that Luke Conard has taken any responsibility for his actions and still attempts to maintain an online presence, though nothing close to the level of notoriety he once had.
Alex Carpenter appears to have been a different, though no less terrible, type of predator. Like Conard, Carpenter had a huge following on social media and the total views on his YouTube videos are in the millions (the videos have not been taken down). The accounts of Carpenter’s behavior tell the story of an opportunist abuser who was very much aware of how popular he was and who got off on trying to prove he could get any girl he wanted by getting them all (no matter how young). Several of the stories told by survivors of Carpenter’s abuse demonstrate a pattern: he would meet underage girls at conventions or online, gain their trust, get what he wanted from them, and then break them down to keep them from having the courage to cut him off when he forced them to do things they didn’t want to or make him admit that he was hurting them.
It wasn’t just underage girls that Carpenter was prone to targeting. At least one account comes from a woman who was well into adulthood when they met Carpenter, though she was no less vulnerable than the underage survivors of Carpenter’s manipulation. “I didn’t have a lot of sexual experience,” she writes, “and I was really nervous, and I wasn’t making him very happy. I asked him if he’d been tested, and he got angry. I asked him what he liked and he said he liked when I didn’t talk. A few minutes later, as I’m naked underneath him, he actually said, ‘Just shut up.’ He got extremely frustrated with me, and as soon as it was over, he said, ‘I think you should go. I have things to do.’”
Though it took some time for the survivors of Carpenter’s abusive behavior to come forward, there were warning signs all over the place. Several of the testimonies available to read on Tumblr (as well as other internet resources) describe how many of the people who knew him were aware that he was a “manwhore” or a “manslut.” Quick aside: I HATE these terms. They perpetuate the idea that it’s okay for men to be promiscuous but not women. Take the word “man” out of those terms, and you’re left with something that is used to this day to shame women in particular. In fact, shame is one of the biggest weapons that abusers like Carpenter and Conard use to make sure the ones they are abusing never fight back. Just stop using all those terms. They don’t add anything good to the world.
Back to the topic at hand. When the stories of people who were brave enough to acknowledge their pain were starting to be told in 2014, these accounts of what Carpenter was like behind the scenes lead to a drop in popularity similar to the ones experienced by Alex Day and Luke Conard. His YouTube channel is still active but he doesn’t seem to be posting new content. As of the writing of this article, his latest video has just over 16,000 views and was posted in March of 2014 (when the truth about all of this started to come out). In fact, his online presence appears minimal these days. It is clear that his ability to influence others has at least been greatly restricted.
There is something else that Conard and Carpenter have in common: the world knows what they did, but there have been no criminal charges brought against any of them. In some instances, there may not have been anything to charge them with. In the cases involving girls who were underage at the time, it may have been a lack of evidence or the survivors might not have wanted to put themselves through the ordeal that comes with pressing charges. At least it can be said that all three have been found guilty in the court of public opinion and all three have had the things they thrived on and enjoyed for so long (mostly) taken away from them: the money, the success, the influence over others, and (most important) the opportunities to do harm.
I mentioned earlier that I am somewhat new to this part of the fandom compared to other people, so now that I am aware of these events I am trying to keep my eyes, my ears, and my heart open to see the impact that it has had. What I see is a vibrant and active branch of a large fandom that is doing all it can to send the message that this is a safe place for people to express themselves. For me, music has always been a place to share stories and to be unafraid to be vulnerable. Most of the wizard rock stars I have seen and interacted with are making it very plain: causing harm will not be tolerated here. If given the chance, be a voice for those who feel voiceless and empower them to speak when they are ready to do so. Being an ally means being a listener always and a speaker when it is needed.
It is important to me that anyone who reads this article takes the time to try and educate themselves based on the first-hand experiences of the ones who were brave enough to speak up. If you are someone who wants to be educated by first hand accounts so as to better understand, please visit the provided links to all the articles I read during my research at the end to make sure that credit is given where it is due. These experiences are not mine, but I respect and admire the bravery of anyone who is willing to be vulnerable and acknowledge their pain.
Final Thoughts:
- People often find it difficult to call people out on their behavior because they don’t want to “get involved.” I get it. You have your own stuff to deal with. Yet, there are moments like these where someone has to be brave first so that other people can be brave later.
- Many of these stories describe how there were people who knew some of these things were going on, but they didn’t do or say anything and now they have guilt. You are allowed to learn from your mistakes. It is only by acknowledging your role in what happened that you can accept it and resolve to do better. If a friend is treating others the way these men did and losing their friendship is what you are concerned about, their friendship is not worth holding onto. If they want to let you go for calling them out, let them.
- Often it seems there is no point in going after the “big fish” because they have too much popular support. We see from the above examples that the most popular ones don’t necessarily remain so. It matters not if someone has 100 subscribers or 100,000 subscribers. That doesn’t entitle them to anything. The earlier they are exposed, the less influence they have and the easier it will be to stop them.
- The sooner the better! One of my biggest gripes with the legal system in this country is the statute of limitations on sex crimes. If someone does something horrible to you and it is beyond reasonable doubt, a ticking clock shouldn’t make the difference in whether or not justice gets done.
Articles and links to research read for this article:
https://wrocksnob.wordpress.com/2014/03/26/why-we-fight/
https://mashable.com/feature/sex-lies-and-youtube
https://ohnoitsallcomingout.tumblr.com/post/79376841675/sexual-abuse-and-youtube
https://scrabblized.tumblr.com/post/79939943485
https://sunnywilliamsla.tumblr.com/post/80012039179/i-started-a-tumblr-because-of-alex-carpenter
https://youtubegazette.tumblr.com/post/80084069789/luke-conard-in-alleged-sexual-abuse-branded-an
https://d-f-t-b-a.tumblr.com/post/100081197027/alexday-shitstorm-twinkbrose-twinkbrose
https://mashable.com/feature/sex-lies-and-youtube#31Wezzbfnzqd
https://erikalynae.tumblr.com/post/79384577696/i-feel-like-there-should-be-a-collective-post-of
https://www.tubefilter.com/2018/07/25/carrie-hope-fletcher-alex-day-book-boycott/
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