Hey guys, gonna do things a little differently than usual. So, I had the beginnings of a post on UK band The Deluminator all set out and was going to review that, but then… well, yesterday happened. For those not in the know, a lot of not so great things happened, across a wide variety of political, social, and fandom spectrums. We did hear a really great piece of news, but for the most part, there was an unusual smattering of crappy things happening yesterday. So, I’m going to break my own mold a bit, and throw away the self-assured smugness and the usual trappings of my style, and instead give you a list of wizard rock songs to listen to to cheer you up if you’re feeling down today. I promise, next time we’ll resume to looking at little-known wrock bands, and hopefully there will be a couple gems in this list you didn’t know of, but I really feel that this would be a more constructive use of our both of our times right now. So, without further ado…

“Expecto Patronum” – Remus and the Lupins

While Born to Howl was an underrated masterpiece filled to the brim with excellent tracks, “Expecto Patronum” is one of the best, and definitely the most uplifting. One of the delightfully quirky things about this album is that pretty much every track had completely different effects on the vocal track, and “Expecto Patronum” has a bouncy instrumental and silly vocals to boot, all wrapped up in a message about thinking about “something happy”. My personal favorite line is “Then an X and a P for puppies – they fight when they play!” The way this line is sung is filled with such unshakable enthusiasm you can’t help but smile.

“There’s A Face (In The Back Of My Head)” – Alas Earwax!

Despite Harry Potter originally being a kid’s series, there’s a surprising lack of songs aimed at or involving in some way kids in the wrock universe. There was talk of a DJ Luna Lovegood-headed kids’ album a few years back but that never really panned out. However, we do have this delightful track from Alas Earwax!, framed as a campfire-esque song sung to kids, all about freakin’ Lord Voldemort. This air of a child-focused genre mixed with enthusiastically chipper vocals about carrying He Who Shall Not Be Named around on your freakin’ head makes for a very fun and light-hearted listening experience.

“Has Anybody Seen My Goyle” – The Blibbering Humdingers

Sometimes when you’re in the dumps, a good laugh will help more than anything, and there are few songs funnier in wrock than The Blibs’ “Has Anybody Seen My Goyle”. This immensely chipper parody of a 20’s vaudeville standard all about, erm, anatomy, contains clever lyrics and enough euphemisms to brighten your mood by the end. I also recommend “Nobody Expects The Blibbering Humdingers” with it’s laid-back tropical sensibilities – it’s both relaxing and fun.

“Imprisoned Lightning” – The Remus Lupins

Hands down the best song off of The Chilling on a Big-ass Rock Album, I mean, The Rest is Silence, “Imprisoned Lightning” is all about keeping hope and fighting for what’s right during the darkest and most difficult times. But what makes this song truly uplifting is not just the lyrics, but the absolutely masterful scoring – starting at 1:55 things start to get epic, but at 2:15, the lightning is unleashed. The use of The Hogwarts Girls Choir (an absolutely inspired stroke of genius and hands down the best part of the album) is nothing short of fantastic, and do not be surprised if this song moves you to tears of frenetic joy. A must-listen.

“Victory Party” – The Remus Lupins

Yes, another Lupins song, because this song is too good to be relegated to a one-off comment at the end of the “Imprisoned Lightning” blurb. Filled with relentless instrumentation, clever lyrics, and Alex’s trademark ability to put emotion into his vocals, “Victory Party” is fun ride from start to finish, with the choruses being especially difficult to not get up and dance to. Even better, the lyrics are all about not ignoring the trials we have now, but still looking forward to the day when we can have our own victory party.

“Legacy of the Fallen Wizard” – Catchlove

Not nearly enough wizard rock songs out there are patterned after drinking songs, and this song is one of the best in the genre. I mean, Irish Drinking Songs are by their very nature almost always improbably catchy and upliftingly fun (even if sometimes the lyrics can tread on the dark side), and this song about how “we have nothing to fear” despite the great battles we still face, is sure to instill you with a new sense of hope.

“A Phoenix Lament”/”Epilogue” – Ministry of Magic

It is no secret that I hold the penultimate track on Goodbye Privet Drive in extremely high regard, so much so that I feel confident in saying that it is definitely in my top five wizard rock songs ever, because of its supreme artistry in both lyrics and music, but I haven’t much touched on its paired song, “Epilogue”. While “A Phoenix Lament” is tragically beautiful, “Epilogue” is the hopeful, inspired counterpoint – the optimism outweighing the doubt and struggle of the previous song. Alone, both of them are at least very good, and even excellent, but together, they make a terrifyingly brilliant diptych, sure to inspire both tears and hope.

“I Wanna Be A Wizard (Featuring The Notorious NEV)” – Danny Dementor

Double D’s surprise EP of the Month Club hit is filled with awesome, and while the titular first track is definitely the most obvious inclusion for this list from that EP, the whole album is filled with pumped-up jams about continuing to fight on and persevere. Seriously, while this song is a great party jam that will rekindle your love for, well, your love for the series, that unabashedly revels in it’s own proud nerdiness, if you’re ever feeling down, the entire album should definitely be near the top of your list. Pure magic.

“Greatest Hits (Performed Live With The London Symphony Orchestra)” – The Giant Squidstravaganza

Hey, come on, you and I both know there is no way a GSS song wasn’t going to make it on this list. And personally speaking, there are few songs out there that will more assuredly pump me up and get me excited than this one. Firstly, the bulk of the song is a meandering delightful mess of false starts, in-jokes, and references to the astonishingly large and concrete canon established by the previous two jam-packed discs. But more importantly, as the recording of “The 1812 Overture” that GSS is rambling over builds towards it’s monumental crescendo, Squidy also builds up to a character-defining moment of self-affirmation, in a perfectly-timed climax that can only be described as epic.

“Illumination” – Luna’s Ceiling

As discussed last week, “Illumination” is an absolutely excellent song, that is unfathomably catchy, with driving instrumentals and lyrics that, while couched in vagaries, are tinged with an unmistakable optimism. An excellent choice for any bad weather days, both literal and metaphorical.

“Honeydukes” – Justin Finch-Fletchley and the Sugar Quills

Sometimes you just need something mind-numbingly catchy and fun to distract yourself, even if for a few minutes, from the world around you, and JFF’s seminal hit “Honeydukes” is a perfect fit for those moods. Whether it’s JFF’s relentless smile you can somehow always hear in his songs, the immensely catchy chorus, or the nonstop descriptions of delicious wizarding treats, you’re sure to find something to keep your chin up in this song.

“Firenze and I are Friends” – Kwikspell

In a similar vein, but with very different execution, “Firenze and I are Friends” is a forty-second high-octane blast of energy and catchiness, sure to beat back some of the grey clouds in life with it’s onslaught of swagtastic rocksomeness. Which is a phrase I promise to never, ever use again.

“All Is Well” – Split Seven Ways

While Zoë has been rightly described as the “dementor of wizard rock”, when she chooses to, she can turn her talent for exploring the depths of human grief and folly, and make a song that while still characteristically somber, is filled with unabashed hope for the future, while still having her trademark sense for good melodies and simple but effective instrumentation. Be warned – you will probably cry, but you will feel better for it.

“We Are Wizards” – MC Kreacher

You may have noticed that a lot of these songs came from EP of the Month Club discs – I just would like to point that out to once again cement the fact that the EP of the Month Club was the best thing to ever happen to wizard rock. Anyways, one of the great things about rap is that it is almost always rather driving and relentless, and MC Kreacher’s stand-out track “We Are Wizards” is no exception, with brilliant production and a beat that is both catchy and tinged with a laid-back melancholy. The best part, though, is the lyrics and the way they remind you about what exactly is great about the series, this genre, and this community, and inspires you to get out there and use the themes and messages Harry taught us to enact some real-world change.

“Fang, Stop Peeing On My Trunk” – The Whomping Willows

Filled at once with both outrageous passion and thundering grace, this most seminal of tracks breaches the very bonds of art and exceeds even –

Okay okay, I’m kidding. Yes, I love this song to death, but even I couldn’t justify its inclusion on this particular list.

“When The Lights Go Out” – The Whomping Willows

Okay, for realsies this time. I’m sure at least a couple of you foresaw this song’s inclusion on this list, and how could I not? I did try to limit the amount of meta-wrock songs on this list, since the majority of them contain a hopeful tone, but “When The Lights Go Out” has quickly become one of the meta-wrock songs out there, and while it’s not as frenetic as the rest of the electric album, the acoustic strumming is fast enough to keep you awake for another long stretch of smashing the patriarchy, or whatever you crazy kids are doing these days. Moreover, while “I Wanna Be A Wizard” is a celebration of our own nerdiness, and “We Are Wizards” teaches that this nerdiness is useful and important, “When The Lights Go Out” reminds us that beyond the nerdy trappings, the friends we’ve made and the community we’ve built will always continue in some form or another, and that’s a hopeful frickin’ message indeed.

The Power of Love – Harry and the Potters

And really, where else would this list end? One of, if not the best wizard rock album of all time, this album is guaranteed to transport you back to the golden age of wizard rock, but a smile in your step, and energize you take down some wrongs and fight for what you deem is right. Songs like “New Wizard Anthem”, “This Book is so Awesome”, and “Felix Felicis” are excellent to rock out and distract yourself to, while “(not gonna put on) The Monkey Suit” gets you all geared up to take down some hypocrisies, and “Song for the Death Eaters” and “Dumbledore” offer the very freakin’ best of what wizard rock has to offer, mixing amazing melodies, powerful and insightful lyrics, and in general some of the most powerfully uplifting music ever made, inside or outside of the wizard rock genre.

So, do yourself a favor, and spend today curled up with a good song or seventeen.

Keep each other safe.

Keep faith.

Wrock Snob out.