A recent shipment of this year’s Wizard Rock EP of the Month Club includes an entirely a cappella EP from The Moaning Myrtles titled Bathroom Acoustics.

When you are in a band that revolves around a dead character who only pops into the story every so often, it can be difficult to find material to craft songs around. Lauren Fairweather and Nina Jankowicz were running into this very problem when Paul DeGeorge asked them to do an EP for this year’s club. They decided that this was the perfect opportunity to test out an idea they had discussed during recording sessions for What About Myrtle? in the summer of 2008. They were going to write an entirely a cappella CD. As members of a capella groups at their respective colleges, they have witnessed first-hand what is possible when only voices are used to create music.

With Bathroom Acoustics, the girls set out to create something entirely different than their usual sound. Lauren says that, while they’ve seen success and been known as “that wizard rock band with the two girls singing harmonies with a piano,” they wanted to see what would happen if they removed the piano, and all other instruments, from the equation.

Nina and Lauren were under a time crunch recording this EP: they were returning from a tour with Justin Finch-Fletchley and The Whomping Willows and had less than two weeks to finish the EP before their deadline. Their writing process was extremely different than it was on their other 2 releases. If they hadn’t felt this pressure, Bathroom Acoustics might have followed a process not unlike their other releases: Lauren could write some lyrics, Nina could arrange a melody into various a cappella parts, and they would have recorded it at their leisure. Nina says, “everything kind of happened at once with this EP,” and they were forced to redefine their methods. They did everything literally at the same time: Lauren wrote lyrics, Nina arranged vocal parts, they worked together on the melody to give a clearer structure to the song, and they went back and forth between melody and lyrics until the chords underneath the vocals were complete.

Lauren says that the most difficult part about recording anything this way was that they were “scribbling the words down and almost immediately recording them without getting a chance to memorize and perfect the material. Usually, that isn’t terribly difficult because we only have to remember one or two parts.” This time around, they had more to concern themselves with because they used their voices to create all the accompaniment parts. Lauren says, “Hearing how great it sounded as we added each part to the mix made it worth the headache.”

The EP itself is a triumph of will and determination. The songs are expertly crafted and recorded. The girls were kind enough to send me the entire EP to listen to in preparation for this article, so here is a little preview for those of you who haven’t gotten your EP club shipment yet.

(Wait, you’re not a member of the EP of the Month club yet? What are you waiting for? Go sign up!)

The title track, “Bathroom Acoustics,” opens with an ascending chord, and continues into a doo-wop vocal accompaniment underneath the melody line. This is also the only track that uses more than just voices. Even so, the additional percussion “instruments” are not ones you’d expect: a toothbrush, faucet, hair dryer, pipes, gargling, and a toilet flush. These “instruments” are featured prominently in an all-percussion section that leads into the final chorus. The girls had help with this section, recruiting their drummer, Justin Bulava, and Nina’s boyfriend, Mike Stein. While not entirely from Myrtle’s point of view, the song does include some elements of the bathroom-dwelling ghost:
Maybe it was magic, could have been a spell
Cuz I don’t know how else I could be singing so well
It’s the bathroom acoustics, pimping out my voice
They make me sound so good that I have to rejoice
Cuz those bathroom acoustics made a singer out of me
Now Britain’s Got Talent’s gonna put me on TV
My favorite part of the song is the charming little giggle at the end.

The next track, “Lonely Myrtle,” expresses Myrtle’s distress at not being invited to a Deathday Party. The vocal accompaniment is sad and haunting, and it allows the melody to be showcased easily.
They shouldn’t call me Moaning Myrtle
Cuz no one’s around to moan to
At the end of the day, when everyone’s gone away
I’m just Lonely Myrtle
Myrtle ponders the idea of throwing her own Deathday Party before she resigns herself to the fact that no one would show up.
If you weren’t there, then I wouldn’t blame you
But it’s still my party and I’ll cry if I want to

“Glasses” is the shortest song on the EP, clocking in at just 20 seconds. The accompaniment is upbeat and perpetually driving forward, giving off an excited energy, which is also expressed in the lyrics.
Today I got a new pair of glasses
Today I got a new pair of glasses
They really look cool
I will wear them to school

“Kill Me Again” is probably my favorite song from this EP. The beat-box-style accompaniment in this song is fiercely detailed, and Lauren gets a chance to flex her hip-hop muscles:
I may not be hip, and I ain’t got no bling
But you know on the dance floor I can shake my thang
So take off that shirt, boy, it looks so itchy
Cuz every Dark Wizard needs a hot little witchy
The girls are joined by their friend Zack McKenna, who also did some additional vocals on What About Myrtle? Zack lends his voice to the part of Tom Riddle in this song:
Don’t give me this petty frustration
My one true soul mate is world domination
After a final chorus asking, “Tom Riddle, please, won’t you kill me again?” the song ends with a challenging, “WHAT?”

The EP ends with “O.W.L.s,” a song about every Hogwarts student‘s favorite standardized test. The song opens with a beat-box-style accompaniment, similar to “Kill Me Again,” underneath a swinging melodic line. The underlying chant-like line throughout the whole song gives it a very lively feel. Myrtle is told that she can’t take the test because, let’s be honest, she’s dead.
Are you kidding?
They won’t let me take my O.W.L.s
I want a tuition refund!

Overall, Bathroom Acoustics is surprising, clever, and ingenious. Each song is extraordinarily unique, and the vocal techniques used to create the different parts of each song are astounding. To my knowledge, Bathroom Acoustics is the only entirely a cappella Wizard Rock CD in existence. Lauren and Nina have achieved something great in creating this EP.

You can listen to “O.W.L.s” and “Bathroom Acoustics” on The Moaning Myrtles’ MySpace page, but the only way to get the full EP is to subscribe to this year’s EP of the Month Club.