By Nicole Greenhouse.

A few weeks ago, a package came in the mail for me. I opened said package and much to my joy, a copy of Hogwarts Trainwreck’s self-titled album was in my hands. I had listened to some of the songs up on the band’s page and front man Greg and I had been sending messages (via Myspace) back and forth, so I was really excited to listen to the whole album. And boy, I was not disappointed.

I can’t go on to writing about the music on the CD without first talking about the album art. The cover features Greg in full-out conductor garb, like Ringo in the live-action Thomas the Tank Engine series. The background is just as spectacular with the Hogwarts Express crashing right through King’s Cross. The album art portrays the premise of the band perfectly. Greg performs as the conductor of the Hogwarts Express and sings about the rumors he hears aboard the train.

The CD begins with an advertisement for Diagon Alley called, “Back to Hogwarts.” Although this song does not fit the premise of the band, it is a great and funny opener to the album.

The rest of the album has an oldies feel to it. “Don’t Cry For Neville” and “Half A Giant” both tell the stories of two of the most made fun of characters in the Harry Potter series, Neville and Hagrid, respectively. The two songs flow into each other and both songs show that the characters aren’t what they seem.

The fourth song, “Hermione Might Be Hot,” is completely different sounding from the previous two. It begins a capella and goes immediately into a rock and roll beat. This song is absolutely hilarious. It comes from a certain Slytherin boy’s perspective and is about how he wants Hermione, but alas, she’s a mudblood. The song has plenty of innuendo and if you’re a sucker for dirty humor or are a Dramione shipper, this song is for you.

The next song, called “Mollywobbles,” comes from the point-of-view of Arthur singing, of course, to Molly. This song is a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll. It basically documents the birth of every Weasley child. The rhymes work terrifically in this song.

My favorite song on the album is “Muggle Magic.” Not only does it have a great melody, but the perspective of this song is fantastic. After being around wizard rock for so long, this is one of the few songs that really comes from the general wizarding perspective of how the Muggle works. The songs goes through many gadgets that Muggles use and actually has the wizards complain about not having the same capabilities as Muggles. Greg asks the vital question, “Who is a Muggle and who is a witch?”

Moving to a more Santana-esque vibe, the seventh song is “Voldemort’s Lament.” Unlike the rest of the CD, this one has more of an acoustic sound and is much more mellow.

The next song begins with the sounds of birds and bees and a poem about that life changing process in one’s adolescence known as puberty. The poem in “Hormones Hit Hogwarts” is hysterical, and once I first heard the waltz-like music begin, a huge smile spread across my face. Basically, the song describes just about every relationship at Hogwarts, ranging from Hagrid’s infatuation with Madame Maxime to Ron snogging Lavender Brown.

Last but not least is “Peter Pettigrew.” Its similar both in sound and in concept as those previous on the album. Obviously, it tells the story of Wormtail. As I listened to the song, I couldn’t stop my foot from tapping or myself from “oooh”-ing with the music.

All in all, the CD is incredibly witty and hilarious. Greg isn’t the most fantastic singer, but he can carry a tune and play a mean guitar. His lyrics are probably some of the most unique I’ve heard in a long time, and it was really refreshing to hear this CD.

Hogwarts Trainwreck’s debut album can be purchased by visiting their MySpace page here.